Eli
V1:
Angst and doubt have become your brand / You ground your worry-stone to a grain of sand
Erode yourself, wringing your hands / Oh Eli
Bills eat your hours like famished lions / Snuff out your spark delaying desires
Hungry for sleep with blaring sirens / Oh Eli
Oh Eli, lay your burdens down / Oh Eli, lay your burdens down
Holding joy in the face of hard is suspicious / Missing things on the floor are still precious
Tell me how a wounded heart increases / Oh Eli
There’s hope in the fact we’re still alive / And I wanna hit the causeway on that long drive
Flying there with you by my side / Oh Eli
Oh Eli, let’s go for a ride / Oh Eli, let’s go for a ride
Chorus:
If day-to-day’s gotta be a struggle / Let’s take on a fight for delights
Armored with hope step into battle / And stomp on them burdens in life
You’re more than a jumble of responsibilities / And I’ll give my sway to see you happy
Least for awhile
Then I’ll hold you / Yes I’ll hold you / let me see you smile
Oh-oh, Baby I’ll hold you / Wanna hold you / Oh Eli, lemme see you smile
V2:
Baby, blast your music brazenly loud / Strut around crowing and roar out some howls
Forget tomorrow and all our troubles for now
There’s a new moon so let’s go outside / Where the brightest light will be from your eyes
As we recall brilliant ways to waste time / Oh Eli
Oh Eli, it’s yours and mine / Oh Eli, all yours and mine
Chorus:
If day-to-day’s gotta be a struggle / Let’s take on a fight for delights
Armored with hope step into battle / And stomp on them burdens in life
You’re more than a jumble of responsibilities / And I’ll give my sway to see you happy
Least for awhile
Then I’ll hold you / Yes I’ll hold you / Oh Eli, as you put on a shine
Oh-oh, yes I’ll hold you / Wanna hold you / Oh Eli, wanna see you shine
Oh oh wo oh oh Oh Eli shine
Vindicate Life
V1
He sang to the ocean night
Danced like a wind-up toy and belted it out until the sun
My friend he knew how to laugh
Even at my expense his humor was expansive now it’s quiet
Chorus:
Crumbled in his life review Then shored up enough pluck to vindicate two
Rage bold headlong echo-ing his voice in this world, fear aside
Don’t have much to loose ke…ep in mind, tip scales of pride
either way we’re all gonna die
better make the most of this life
V2
all done, moved to the light
Performance art left behind With my duet
A hole now in the world We melt
Chorus:
Crumbled in his life review Then shored up pluck enough to vindicate two
Rage bold headlong echo-ing his voice in this world, fear aside
Don’t have much to loose ke…ep in mind, tip scales of pride
Gotta make the most of this life
finite life
V2:
Worries Sink us deep
What matters little weighs lot this side of final sleep Despite ourselves
No one gets it right
No one gets it right Though we try oh we try
Crumbled in his life review Then shored up pluck enough to vindicate two
Rage bold headlong echo-ing his voice in this world, fear aside
Don’t have much to loose ke…ep in mind, tip scales of pride …
I wrote Eli a bit over a year ago and recorded it earlier this month. It was my response to someone challenging me to write a happy song.
I drafted Vindicate Life more recently and it may undergo more edits. It's been through a lot. But I recorded it today, after leaving the Celebration of Life event for Linda Durban. I couldn't stay. But still wanted ceremony. So... music.
My friend, Kevin, passed in 2006. I know that's long ago now, but there's no date stamp on mourning. There was no service. I planned to visit him in New Orleans for Spring Break, with my 3-year-old Girl, who he hadn't met, in 3 days when I got the word that he died. So I took my Girl to Luray Caverns instead. Maybe she had an alright time, but I get claustrophobic and was pretty sad, but was with the spriteliest 3-year-old I can even imagine, so it was a mixed bag.
When Reuben Jackson hosted a workshop at MC through It Takes a Community in 2019, I took the opportunity to at last start writing about Kevin. There's a line from a Dan Bern song, "New love brings back all the old loves / that you've ever had." ("Chelsea Hotel, 1998). It feels a little like that to me with mourning these days. Like some of the lyrics from "Vindicate Life" (for Kevin) could fit for Linda. I've played it a few times with changing pronouns, which is kind of funny. I can imagine her push back on that one; feels like an inside joke. And I'd often send early draft recordings to Reuben, who passed away last week, so I think of him with the recording.
I'm lucky to have loved so many wonderful souls as to feel heartbroken at losing them. They each make me want to live more boldly, to do all the things. Thus, the song.